Well ... I'm back

[tpc1977]

My wife slept a lot yesterday. She really did need it working double shifts and caring for things while I'm at work. I took care of the house and chilled out most of the day. When she did get up she decided to go to a meeting with her home group. I encouraged her to go.

Nothing really normalized until around 3pm when she got back home. By then we were talking about what dinner was going to be and what show we'd all watch.

At one point I did lose it with my youngest daughter. She as messy as they come. Every room she enters becomes a disaster and it would be easier just to cone them off and put up hazard signs, never to be used again. Constantly I was on her heels telling her to pick this up or clean that up. I looked down once and saw a spoon she had used earlier to eat peanut butter with. There it was, on her bedroom floor. Oh. And there's my flashlight she used, on her sister's floor. Oh. And there's her clothes from last night, in the floor of her closet. And her food dishes. And her cups. And her papers. Etc. Etc. Etc.

She 12 so it's not like I'm following a 3 year old around. This girl, however, makes enough messes for a full daycare facility.

Anyway, I finally lost it after the eleventy-billionth time of telling her to clean up after herself. I told her I was done hearing her "sorries" and wanted to see some action. My wife was there and when I walked into the kitchen she sort of gave me that look like, "See?" I nodded in agreement and asked if she needed any help with dinner. She had it under control so I just started washing the dishes she was done with.

Later we ate together and watch some TV together. Or oldest girl was out shopping for Valentine's Day and text that she was heading home. We were having a family meeting about some things that happened earlier in the weekend and wanted to hear their side of it too.

The meeting went pretty good. We aired our differences and talked about certain things that were bothering us with the family. The main point that came out of it all was, Respect. Respect each other, respect us, respect your friends, and respect all our belongings.

After that my wife and I went to bed and she started working on her first step in the NA book. This will be the second time she started this. She lost the first one, though really didn't get through it too far. We've decided to write up a plan for her to get to more meetings and finish her 12 steps. I told her I would help her only by encouragement and being with her as she does it. I believe she worked on it for about an hour. After that she watched some Housewife show then we clicked of the TV.

Neither one of us could sleep. Sundays have always been a problem for me to get to sleep. I guess thinking about getting the work week going again and early morning training. I mentioned that I had had a headache most of the day. She asked why. "Stress, I suppose."

"Stress? From what?"

I really think she's clueless sometimes. Does she not know that just a week or so ago she was once again telling me that she didn't know if we should stay together? That she doesn't know what she wants exactly? About her constant lying? About her highs and lows? About the bankruptcy? About the house? About the cars? About the kids? About me and how I can possibly mask the absolute pain my heart's riddled with? "Just stuff. I'll be fine. Good night." Good grief.