RoRo, wow what an emotional weekend you've had. Don't feel bad. You've had an enormous amount to deal with lately and I can see how you just couldn't hold it in anymore. I admire you for not spilling the beans on the flight information you saw. It's obvious that your H feels a lot of guilt. Don't let him off the hook by fighting so that he feels justly "punished" and relieved of his guilty feelings. Being sick doesn't help either, because it promotes sitting around and endlessly thinking about the sitch. And we all know where that leads -- nowhere good.
I echo what others have said. No more talk about the Vegas trip. Try to put it out of your mind (easier said than done, I know). No more interpreting what H means when he's nice to you. I do think that being nice and doing things for you is a positive and you could view it like that. But try not to have expectations as to where it will lead. Until he says straight out that he wants to reconcile, his actions are not necessarily indicative of that. Emotionally, he could be anywhere: guilty, sad, confused, scared, etc. Let him work that out on his own. You have nothing to do with that. I have gotten caught in over-interpreting my H's actions as an indication that he is thinking of reconciliation -- he wasn't and in fact hadn't changed his mind at all. Now, I try to see our positive interaction as good steps, but nothing more. Expectations without a clear verbal intention to get back together lead to disappointment.
Just keep on GALing!
PS. I doubt very much that he will ever send you that flight information if it has the OW's name on it. He is still in lie and hide mode. Hang in there.
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
