You are doing a great job at holding in all of the emotions!!
You've been doing alot of GAL, keeping your PMA, and keeping your mind super busy only pausing to deal with your sitch occasionally!
This is great and I'm sure a far cry from where you were, emotionally, not so long ago!
All of that being said, there are those times that you just can't fight off the thougths and emotions anymore! It was great for you to let them out!
Now that you have succumbed to them briefly, you should be able to get right back on track, much quicker than before, and continue to take care of yourself GALing like crazy!!
The best part, H never had to see or never has to know of the breakdown, for all he knows, you're having the best time of your life and it's all without him!!!
Me31 H33 M11 T15 S10, D4 H deploys 01/11 H R&R two weeks 10/11 ILYBNILWY/sep 12/11 homecoming 1/12 pos D 1/13