WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

It was a busy weekend. W had to work so I spent the weekend with the kids. It was "her weekend" but this is the last weekend before they move so I was fine with being with the kids, actually I was more than fine I was very happy.

SS is really enjoying the youth group, he's so excited and it really gives us a common ground which is great. I had to leave him at our most recent meeting so I could take a search team in the field (he's not experienced enough yet for the search team). I was worried he'd be turned off by being "stranded" with the other cadets, but just the opposite, he had a blast and is making new friends.

Yesterday I had the kids tag a long to a groundbreaking for a new apartment complex I'm developing. It was also a ribbon-cutting for the village's community kitchen. Great food for free and SD and S spent hours at the craft table. Kids had a blast.

W and I have been negotiating the disposition of lots of little stuff... that gets old but I suppose has to get done. For example her stepdad gave us half a cow for Christmas. That's a lot of meat and when you split houses you have to divvy that up. It suxx.

Everyone is feeling the pressure now. I am... S always asks me to give him a swedish massage after his tubby. Last night he wanted to give me one so I let him do his best It's crazy how tense I am right now. Kids are all over the map... they're surviving but it doesn't take much to spin them up. W has a hair trigger right now. The landlord hasn't done a list of things he said he would and she's furious. She's also running out of money and panicking.

I'm generally sad right now. It comes and goes, but it's never too far below the surface. This too shall pass. I want this week to hurry up and be over with... I want my house back and boxes not to be everywhere. And then I don't want any of this all at the same time.

S is very excited about the waterpark trip this weekend. SS and SD want to go too... I told them they are welcome but it their weekend with their dad so it's his call. Unfortunately since W filed for increasing his CS by 600% last Friday, and he'll get that news today or tomorrow, I don't think he's going to be big on doing anything nice. But I'm taking them with on Friday since there's no school and then can spend most of the day there with S and I... better than nothing.

Pretty sure it's going to be an emotional moment when I drop them off at their dad's on Friday. That'll be the last time they "live with me" unless something happens long down the road from now.

W admitted two nights ago that she's pretty scared and nervous. SS has told her he's not sure he's going to like this new arrangement. S is sad about missing his dog, and last night asked me to make up a story about a king and queen who get a divorce but the brave night saves them from the dragon, and then they all live happily ever after. Try to do that without tearing up, I dare you.

Most of this week I'm busy during the evenings which will be good. I really don't want to be around as W is stressing out and trying to pack.

On the upside my new computer should arrive tomorrow... my own Valentine's gift to myself.

Just trying to focus on the kids and what they need. I laughed yesterday because W sent me an email with some questions. In it she apologized if she has been rude or curt the past few days, she's just under a lot of stress right now. I wanted to email back that she's not really the only one... and maybe if she looked around she'd notice that everyone is hurting and stressed, but I didn't. I just answered the question.

I have started telling more people now. It's amazing the support I am getting. Granted these folks only see my side, but I try to relay that we both got here. But particularly it's the women who tell me my W is crazy. I tell them she is doing what she feels she needs to do... it's not my place to judge. That's partly what got us here.

On Saturday the kids and I were grocery shopping. I ran down an aisle and when I came back to the cart a woman was talking to the kids. I came up to the cart and it was my W's best friend. This friend has been helping her paint and clean the rental house. As soon as I realized who it was I felt weird... this friend has largely avoided me since the start of things. But she turned and saw me. She gave me a massive and long hug. Then she asked how I was doing and I said I was doing ok. Then she said she's sorry and wishes she knew what [my W] was thinking. I said thanks, but she's doing what she feels she has to. I guess that's become my line now. But I was pretty shocked to get that from her.

Running down the rabbit hole some more.