Different techniques work for different people. There really is no right or wrong solution. The core of my ex husband is that he will do anything to push my buttons. Spewing was so unlike him throughout our whole marriage, that when he started this behavior it threw me for a loop. He gained a lot of negative attention from me and that is what he wanted at the time. Spewing takes the attention off of us, and puts it on them. During my ex's MLC, setting boundaries made him rebel more. It was "resistence" to him and that made him less likely to look at himself as the problem. I found my best tactic was to dismiss him, walk away, or go no contact. Deep down, they know what they are doing. My ex has told me that many times, i.e., don't you think I know my affair is wrong?, don't you know I have a hard time looking in the mirror? I know I am hurting you... Those are all examples. Ml'ers are adolescents. They want to rebel. They want to get reactions from you.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
