Where did my life go?

[AntoniaB]

IB when anyone, family or friends, urges you to do online dating before you have come to a decision like that on your own, it's probably because they see you hurting and make the assumption, as so very many people do, that a relationship is going to make you happy "again." If you're laughing and saying no way, then you KNOW that's not the answer. I got a lot of pushing to do that stuff and even my psychiatrist at some point told me it was an "assignment" to sign up for eharmony in order to step outside my comfort zone.

I can't say it was a complete waste of time and money because I guess it showed me one thing, that I am never going to meet someone suitable through online dating. It was, in a word, obnoxious. I felt like most men disregarded what was in words on my profile and just wanted to hook up, or they wanted someone to patch the big holes in their lives and marry them asap, or they were old enough to be my dad, creeping up on me, which made me hugely uncomfortable, and the dates I went on were just awful because the men were in their 40's and had never been in any serious relationship and really couldn't even have a conversation face-to-face without huge levels of anxiety. I felt like it took a lot of my time and energy and it only created negative energy.

I'm convinced that if I meet someone it will be the way 4 out of 5 people meet, which is NOT online dating. People say women "have to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince." That's a load of crap. I don't have to go on a series of progressively worse dates to find the right person to date, and neither do you.

People mean well, but they don't get it. It takes years to get over what happened in our lives and we are not willing to settle for something bad just to have something.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't care that it's Valentine's Day tomorrow other than the fact that I have myself to love ... face it, probably half the people celebrating V Day in a big way are going to end up over at some point. It's just the way it is. I'm not losing sleep over what they are all doing tomorrow.