Let me run this by you -- I don't think she wants me to pursue, she wants me to be "ok" which is to say require nothing from her beyond which she chooses to give. I think this is more of a defense for her feelings of inadequacy than anything else.
I can inventory my pursuing behavior and knock it off. There's a fine line there between not pursuing and being cold or appearing completely disengaged. I believe it is the "acting different" that bothers W more than the lack of pursuit, because she's anticipating that some complaint is brewing that she will have to deal with.
When I pursue, W is not disengaged, and does do some pursuing of her own, but to the point of the book, we are not in balance.
The Passion Trap seems good, I'm going to keep going. I did read the Pursuit and Distance chapter from the Solo Partner on the other website. It seems to be written from the perspective of a WAH who has already moved out or who is cake eating and I don't have that. I get the point about balance, however, and will work on restoring ours.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
