so are you saying you DID join John Muir and told her b/c....??
B/c she threw it in your face? I get that.
Yes, I did join JM. I wanted it to be a smooth transition from being jobless for that duration and getting this new position. But as far as I know, that blew up in my face, because now I've verified (in her mind) that I can't keep a job (that has been an issue she's had with me) AND that I lied to her.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
But I guess it would have come out anyhow...and you can modify child support when her income goes up and after the residency, it will. If yours also does, then no matter.
So did she not believe you or what? Sheesh...real nice...
The thing is, I don't know how she found out. I didn't officially disclosed my situation in any legal docs. Perhaps tax paperwork (I don't see how, since I still filed joint)? Perhaps our daycare provider let it slip (even though all she knew was that I found a job, not my being out of work)? Perhaps she has a mole in my life? I kept this low key, the only people who know are my family and church. No one on the forums (until now) or even FB know.
I don't think it's about her not believing me or not, 25. She's always thought I was a loser in terms of work, so with this she probably thinks: "So what's new with Alamo? He hasn't changed one bit."
What I can tell you is this: I haven't been comfortable or happy with my work in the long term because I gave up my engineering career in Asia and came to small college town in the Bible Belt to study Psychology. There isn't much work you can find with a BA in that field, at least one that can support a married life. Me getting my Masters was out of the question; she wanted to finish first, then I would go back to school. That was the plan, at least.
On top of that, I couldn't find many production engineering jobs, since this was during the financial crisis AND the fact that everybody was moving to China. As a permanent resident, I don't have security clearance to work at, say, aeronautic or military plants.
My first real job as a curriculum developer in 2007 came as a godsend, truly. That was my foot in the door, but to be honest, my lack of formal training showed through often enough. Most employers didn't mind, because my work made up for it. But as a man, as a person, I struggled with it.
My porn addiction and the consequent decreased respect from my wife made her come to the conclusion that I'm just a lazy, lying man, and not because that I'm kind of a fish out of water.
Lately, I've wished I could ask her (now that's completed her medical training) how she would feel if someone asked her to drop what she's doing and go into, say, sales or interior design as a long-term job. With her good work ethic, she would probably excel, but the question is: Will she be truly happy? Can she feel complete job-wise? Will she have the lasting power? I dare to say that she would not even consider it.
