Thanks everyone. Reading my post from last week I'm a little embarrassed. Wish I could delete it. I've changed my preferences to accept PM's BTW.
All I know is she said she needed time to find herself. Time alone. Said she still loved me and she wasn't going to date for a year. Six months at the least. BS. She's already dating. She said she was going to give me the money she owes me. Literally thousands. 1/2 the security deposit on the wedding she cancelled. 1/2 of a personal loan I made in December. The security deposit on the house I put up which she threw me out of. The new phone I just bought her. The utilities I'm still paying cause they're in my name. I even still owe the money on my credit card for the presents she bought her own kid. Am I bitter. YES!
I just sent her an angry text. I know I shouldn't have. I know it's over. I'm not DBing to get her back. So why am I here? I needed to rant. I am so depressed and angry. How could she lie to me. I trusted her. It took me a long time with the help of some very nice people here to learn to trust again after my last divorce. I don't think I have it in me to try again. I'm having a lot of trouble getting up and out of the house. I'm taking my medications. I'm just so hurt and lonely.
I honestly wish I was dead right now. How can you just move on like that. In such a short time. I know we were only living together for a couple of years and we were only engaged but it felt like marriage to me. I considered it a life long commitment. It was more of a marriage and I was more deeply in love with her than my ex who I spent 10 years with.
I'm sorry. I just needed to vent. I am just suffering a great deal knowing she's back out on the prowl. I really thought she was a different person.
Two main issues I am struggling with right now. I still have many many pictures of us. Cards and gifts. I know I should get rid of them all but it is hard. And.....
I can't stop spying on her either. I sent her a mean text telling her I know she is dating again and she should change all her passwords. No response. I think she has blocked my texts. I don't think I have the strength to stop looking.
