Bea, I totally agree with you 100%. I was just thinking about this today. I had to email my xh in regards to taxes and some stuff. I chose to thank him for some things that he's done since the seperation. I meant every word too.
However I figure if past can predict future, there will be a spewing coming on. He told me he'd leave it up to me if I claimed both kids on the taxes or if we both take each child. I thought it over and this year Im claiming both. I've had them the majority of the time and I feel it's fair. Next year when the kids have consistently stayed with him 1 - 3 nights a week, then claiming one each will be fair. Though he left it up to me, I figure the PA could jump out and bite me again. We'll see.
My point being, we really need to keep our boundaries strong and it is NOT OK for them to say the hurtful things they tend to say. I agree that it needs to be acknowledged and not let go as if it doesn't exist. At some point a line has to be drawn if we want to come out of this with any self respect at all. Allowing such degrading comments to go by is us being very disrespectful to ourselves.
MLC, whatever. That is no excuse for such disrespectful comments to flow freeely. Believe me I've had my share of that from XH. Im still blown away as the the S*** that came out of his mouth, for he NEVER spoke to me in that way at all in our marriage, ever. I thought he had better vocabulary and was a hell of alot more articulate than that. But in the midst of spew....all bets are off I guess.
