It took time to get to where you are now - as you said, 21 years of drinking.... it will take time to reverse it. I have read somewher that it takes at least a month for every year that you were together - I think thats true, it took 16 years for my sitch to turn around from bomb day, and we have been together for that long.....
Work on yourself. Make yourself the an your W will fall in love with again. The OM is just a band aid, a symptom of what was wrong in our M. I think your W is a good woman, and she knows what is right and wrong, but is confused right now. But sometimes, this kinds of situations have a way of happening for a reason, and maybe in your case, it is to make you realize that you have to stop your drinking.
Just because your W doesn't feel love for you now doesn't mean to say that she will be like that forever. If you change and be the man she once loved, it could come back. And I have the feeling in your case it is very possible.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
