Forgiveness

[2thepoint]

Antlers - quick post and then I got to run. I'll check back in later.

First, I like the first note you sent to your W. It was neutral and future oriented and I think it struck the right tone.

Her response below, includes an important opening for you:

"I think that's possible if you'll stop telling them how I'm the one who destroyed the family and cheated and crap and if your family will stay out of it and stop telling them crap about me." "You even told them I cheated with Steve. Give me a freakin break. I'm so sick and tired of you telling them those lies."

Your proposed response is fine but I think you have to acknowledge that she has indicated that she would be willing to work with you regarding the kids, if....... That is your opening. Maybe you include something like, "I agree that our pointing fingers is doing us or the kids, no good and just serves to increase the tension between us. I'll talk to my family. Can we then call a truce and...." then work in your intended response with a few proposed solutions.

Be prepared for more vitriol from your W. Keep your cool and then keep going back, each time acknowledging (not necessarily agreeing) in general her point of view while all the while, keeping the direction of communicating focused on the kids.

Keep your cool, Antlers. Validate the hell out of your wife. And keep your cool.

You have the opportunity here I think to make significant forward progress. But you have got to be willing to swallow your pride some. Remember the kids are the focus right now.