H called this morning at 8a saying he was in the neighborhood and could he come over and walk D3 to school. Kind of odd since he lives in the neighborhood, but clearly he wasnt coming from home. Was he coming from over night with other woman?? I know I cant hypothesis but I just wish I knew. I hate being unsure and just guessing.
H also tells me he has been "living clean" which I guess means he is not drinking, but I know thats a lie cause he smells like booze sometimes.
It is just so sinking in that this is gonna take a while and I hate it
Brklyn - does your H consider that he might be an alcoholic? I went through this with my W too at different times. That may explain the weird comings and goings more than it being another woman. Brklyn - whatever your doing tonight I hope you are finding some peace (((((you))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Happy V-Day to a beautiful soul!! Treasure the love we find in our kids today... The ultimate unconditional love!
I'm renaming it Victory-Day for all us LBsers!!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
The girls and I had a great weekend at my parents house. My cousins came over with their kids so it was a weekend long party. H came over this morning to take the girls for a night or two.
He pulls me aside and asks me if I talked to D3 about whether it would be one or two nights at his house. I said I didnt. He said do you want me to take them for one or two nights? I said you can do whatever you want. He said "Well I dont what to just exert my will willy nilly over this" I said "well"
He left mad at me for not telling him if the girls should stay at his house 1 or 2 nights. Come on. I am doing the best I can.
I feel ready to drop the rope. He has not made any move to R and I have been DBing since Sept. I very close to just asking nicely for him to come and pack up the rest of his stuff.
I also really want to move. It would be much easier for me accept my new life if I moved and had a clean slate. But I know moving would have a huge impact on D3. D3 loves her home, her block and her kiddy neighbors.
I just feel trapped living here like I cant move on and I am very close to ready. H has treated me like garbage and its really hard to digest. I have made major changes over the past 8 months and although he has acknowledged I have change apparently it is not enough.
If I knew for sure that H was an alcoholic or having a break down then maybe I could fight longer but every time I look at him or talk to him it feels like I am damaging my self esteem. I just want a legal custody arrangement so I dont have to chit chat with him and figure it out all the time.
I hope this post doesnt sound desperate or whinning or bitter, I just really want to be done with this jerk. I dont want to deal with him any more then I have too, it hurts too much
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
The girls and I had a great weekend at my parents house. My cousins came over with their kids so it was a weekend long party. H came over this morning to take the girls for a night or two.
He pulls me aside and asks me if I talked to D3 about whether it would be one or two nights at his house. I said I didnt. He said do you want me to take them for one or two nights? I said you can do whatever you want. He said "Well I dont what to just exert my will willy nilly over this" I said "well"
He left mad at me for not telling him if the girls should stay at his house 1 or 2 nights. Come on. I am doing the best I can.
I feel ready to drop the rope. He has not made any move to R and I have been DBing since Sept. I very close to just asking nicely for him to come and pack up the rest of his stuff.
I also really want to move. It would be much easier for me accept my new life if I moved and had a clean slate. But I know moving would have a huge impact on D3. D3 loves her home, her block and her kiddy neighbors.
I just feel trapped living here like I cant move on and I am very close to ready. H has treated me like garbage and its really hard to digest. I have made major changes over the past 8 months and although he has acknowledged I have change apparently it is not enough.
If I knew for sure that H was an alcoholic or having a break down then maybe I could fight longer but every time I look at him or talk to him it feels like I am damaging my self esteem. I just want a legal custody arrangement so I dont have to chit chat with him and figure it out all the time.
I hope this post doesnt sound desperate or whinning or bitter, I just really want to be done with this jerk. I dont want to deal with him any more then I have too, it hurts too much
Brkyln - you don't sound bitter, desperate or whiney. I so now how you feel about losing your self esteeem with every contact - its death by a thousand cuts. 25yrs told me once when I felt this way to make sure your decision is made cooly with a clear head and emotions.
i think you're just feeling what so many of us do. i also really hate it when H asks for an answer to trivial thing.. so that they don't have to take any responsibility over making a choice. i usually say.. whatever you think is best now.
as for the moving, is there a way to fix up your place so that it feels like a new home? rearranging furniture.. paint.. to make it your space w/ your Ds? i'm working on that too.
it's tough! (((( )))) i think that's why i went to LRT a few weeks ago. to protect myself. and now i still have sad moments but not nearly as attached as i was before. i'm just starting to be friendlier now w/ H. at my pace. feels much better because i feel more in control.
focus on your girls. they are the best medicine.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
