BF- I'm in pensacola, FL... it's an hour away from Mobile, AL. We probably won't get out to any other parades this weekend, it's stupid to fight all the traffic.... besides, there's a cold front coming through tonight, and everyone is freaking out- get ready to laugh.... it's supposed to drop down into the 20's!!! Gotta love Florida people: a hurricane comes, and they throw a party in the rain- but the temp drops below 60, and they go into hibernation!
============= Did some errands with my mom today- not too exciting, but got out of the house. I'm in a funky mood today. I'm kinda sad, not really motivated to do anything and really physically tired. H started his career in this town and S6 was born here, and we lived with my parents until H finished training when S was 6 months old.... so there's A LOT of memories around here. Not to mention evidence of H in this house- from family photos and gifts.... it's going to be hard to unravel H from my parent's lives as well. (I have no siblings or cousins- long line of only children. So I am the ONLY kid in the entire family- when I got married, it was like everyone had a new toy to play with= H. He loved the attention because he comes from a large family and was always 'just another cousin'. My dad even said that he is the son he never had- and treated him as such. My parents are trying to stay neutral, but I can tell that they are hurting too)
I tried to Face Time with my kids this morning, and the baby wasn't really interested- he just kept playing and didn't come over to the phone, but it was sweet to watch him for a little bit. Then I tried again after nap time, but he was still not interested.... imagine trying not to cry or take it personally. I did get to chat with S6, so it wasn't a complete loss. Then H seemed to want to rush off the phone- but I managed to get him to coordinate another time to try- tomorrow morning.
H made no attempt to small talk or ask how my trip was going, only seemed interested in getting off the phone. He looked tired and scruffy. Really trying not to think about/interpret what's going on on his head.... but I would be lying if I said that I'm not disappointed that he's not reaching out to me and doesn't seem to notice my absence. I'm not dwelling of what he might be doing back there as often, so I know my GAL/detaching efforts are slowly working. I really just wish that I could hear him say that he notices I'm not around. GRRRRRRRR.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12