It breaks my heart for you and S, reading his list of questions. Man, this sh stinks!
Great for S having football to help him. I always think strong body, strong mind go hand in hand, so a physical activity is great. As for your older S stepping up to fill the void; well to have another person that YOU raised help his little brother is reflective of the mother you are. And most of us have a protective instinct in us for those we see hurting. Your S28 obviously has that. This will be a great thing for both of them. And his idea of giving S14 an allowance is a great way for S to feel some worth in what he contributes to the household. Not to mention maybe keeping his hands out of your handbag. Every kid needs a bit of cash in his pocket. Our S just started college, and is not going to be working, so we still give him an allowance. Although he does volunteer work as an explorer with the Fire Department. That is something you could look into with your S if he has any interest in that or even the cadet program with the police department.
Oh, my F was an alcoholic, he had a very hard time sustaining relationships, too, like your H. One of my sisters took after him, and I think is an alcoholic, and has had three husbands and three divorces. I think alcohol must do that to them, I don't know.
God bless you and take a deep breath and a bubble bath, eat some chocolate, read a good book or magazine, and pamper yourself for an hour or two. You've got too much stress, and need to get it out. vc
