I do not believe that everyone thought you should be a super woman. I believe you thought and expected that of yourself. Your expectations have been high for yourself and I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told IrishBlessings, lower the expectations for yourself. Look at what you have on your plate and determine what absolutely has to be done that day and do it. The rest of the stuff is fluff and can be done whenever.

You lower your expectations for a bit w/your h and when he starts warming back up, the expectation level goes back up. It's a normal feeling because you've not learn the detachment yet.

As for your h going away this weekend...what happened there? Who decided that you weren't going? Because he went, are you thinking of punishing him by offing yourself? Just because he does something you don't like, doesn't necessarily mean you have to go out there and do something to get back at him. Take the high road and do things differently.

Destiny, where are you located in Virginia? Are you living on base? Is there someone I can call for you?

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.