I just spoke to a SH buddy. They have always been good to me, but I cannot disconnect. I have been here before, and cannot experience this again.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Thank you. I am done. I have been a burden to everyone and to my SH friend, I am sorry to have ever been a burden to you. No one believes that I will do it. But I am already armed.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Destiny, Maybe your work hasn't been up to par because you have been so focused on your home situation w/your h. Destiny, you may not have even realized that your personality has changed and now is the time to stop and take stock of what you have control over and can change. If your boss said that "we think you are horrible", then that is wrong. He/she, as a supervisor, should have been working w/you along the way and not just at performance rating time. You don't drop this type of information on an employee at the rating period. Supervisors are suppose to give an employee time to work on their performance when it is lacking in certain areas.
As for your sister, blow it off...maybe the two of you aren't getting along because of the situation. Maybe she wants you to stop obsessing over your h and what he's doing or is it something else?
Now your h...he is a passive aggressive/conflict avoider who is depressed. Do you honestly think that he's going to look at himself in the mirror and say "I screwed up and I need help"? The spouse is always blamed for everything that goes wrong in their lives. They never look at the glass as half full, but more so, half empty.
Now, let's get to the statement that you are sorry that you have been a burden to us...no, we don't see it that way. You came here for assistance and we have tried to assist you the best that we can. Destiny, we all have been down this road, and yes, even our work wasn't up to par and we sure had some issues w/our siblings and friends, but we had to take the focus off our spouses in order to pull ourself up out of that dark hole. If you think harming yourself and God forbid suicide will take care of the problem...maybe for you, but what about your family, husband, friends and co-workers? You have to stop and think about everyone around you, and I am sure that there are plenty of people who love and care about you.
Seriously, I wouldn't give those who have said mean things to you the satisfaction of knowing that they've pushed you over the edge. Destiny, you are a strong woman and can pull through this. Now, call the Crisis Hotline number and talk to someone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am a point that I don't care how they feel when I am gone. They all used me and didn't care about me. We says mean and hurtful things. I remember when I was angry years ago, I see that behavior in them and those around me. I think that is what always stopped me in the pass - That God forbids suicide. But why put me through all if this again. Just finished 15. No more talk.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Destiny, So, if you think others have used and abused you in the past, what right do you think that they have to push you to this? They don't. Don't allow others to dictate how you live your life. You are in control of your own destiny and do not lower yourself to their level. You have a lot to offer the world...
Come back here and post to us. We'll work through this with you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am really tired. Just wrote a letter. They are dictating this. No more hurt from them.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
NO they are not. You have a choice here. I know you've gone through this before and you came out the other side stronger and knowing yourself better. Connect with that woman again.
She is gone. I wanted things to work out, but i failed. I am positive it never will and if I am such a miserable person (as called by others), then it must be true. I really don't know how to get my point across to anyone. I have never had clear and succinct thoughts ( as those closet to me like to point out). I am 42 years old, married, no children, but with a lucrative job. I was able to purchase a home for my mother, help my husband build and furnish our own home, and succeeded, until recently withhin the last 3 years, in my career.
we all on these board know how it feels. I feel there is now way out. I didn't want to deal wth him at all in divorce proceedings. I would not ever want to see him again. Put I know reality is that I would have to. you have all been great to me and i appreciate it even though haven't been as good about posting as others.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
