BTW - H's 50th birthday is next weekend. Not sure if I should plan anything or give him anything. Any advice? If I don't get him anything, he may feel slighted or ignored, but if I do give him something, would that be considered pursuing?
I am sure he is feeling the pressure of that and he now has to wear glasses because his sight is not great anymore. My H has an issue with image.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Destiny, I'm sorry to read that you've been ill. I hope that you are feeling better.
The questions he has asked are fairly normal for those who are questioning their lives. I would sit down and draft up responses to them. The next time he asks, I would be honest and tell him exactly how you felt. It's time to put away the tears and be stronger in front of him. He wants to know how you perceive your relationship and marriage.
It's difficult not to be upset, but you've got to learn to do it elsewhere. He's getting very frustrated that he can't talk to you w/o you getting upset. Tears, clinging, begging, etc., are turn offs to them. Their empathy chip is broken, so they don't understand nor care about how we feel when they begin and continue their journey along the mlc path.
Mlc is about going back and trying to redo their lives. They think that they've missed out on a lot of things. It's about their childhood issues and yes, they will question all aspect of their lives and where they think they should be now and in the future. They also tend to think out loud, so do not be surprised when things are blurted out when he's home. No one knows if he's leaning towards divorce or not...only God knows this. Your h isn't even sure what he wants right now and that's a good thing.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Snodderly. Your advice is always spot on. So I decided to have a "me" day. I got dressed, put on make up and I an going shopping and to get a facial. While on my out, my H calls to apologize for hurting my feelings and is on his way home early. Needless to say, I am still going out for the dat and enjoy myself.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Oh God. Why? Nobody understands. I am su sorry. Forgive me for what I am going to do. Nobody is available. I want to die. I am nothing and I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Destiny, What is going on? Your life is far more precious than you think it is. Come back here and post to us. Someone is here 24/7.
Call the Crisis Hotline in your area if you need to speak to a person. Do it now!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The week started with my boss saying "no one respects you, no one wants to work with you or take your lead". "At most, your performance rating is requires improvement". "we think you are horrible".
Then my sister says, "we get along better when you are not around".
My H tells me last night that "it is my fault that everything in his life is bad, you are a miserable, miserable person". "and you are are the reason for everything wrong in my life".
I want to die.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
