How to get her to try again?

[tpc1977]

Please forgive me if this has been discussed before. I've read this whole thread last night and over and over I kept thinking about one thing. The boy.

In our day to day trouble we usually forget about the waves we set off and who they rock. During the trouble my wife and I are going through one of the biggest hurts are my children - one being my step daughter. I'm deeply aggravated by the thoughts of them being torn to pieces by what may happen.

Again please don't take this the wrong way because you may in fact be building a relationship with him through this. Which I think would be awesome. Do you know what's going on in his mind? He may be hurting a lot. Feelings of total abandonment. This will shape who he becomes. I know! Believe me, I know. A lot of who I am today stems from a father who basically lives his life away from us as a drug addict.

To me, and I could be wrong, this young man is left out of the picture. And I only feel this way because I feel I can relate to him in a way. Only if I'm reading it right, however.

This could be your chance to shine - as a true gentleman. Regardless of where this boy is in days, months, years to come, you could help him develop skills that will greatly benefit him. And ultimately benefit his family. This also could play crucial in your current relationship with your wife. Developing a relationship with this young man could show your wife a new you. Even though this young man doesn't show it he may need someone grounded in his life more than anything. He could be drawn deep into confusion and his only outlet is being with himself and entertainment.

Really I only say this with a warm heart. I'm not bitter or upset in an angry way about this. I only fear for him because I've been dealt the same hand when I was younger. Years ago, I was a youth leader and I could see the trouble in so many young kids eyes as their parent fought their fight and forgot who else was in the ring with them. Some kids were inflicted by such terrible blows that I don't think they'd ever recover. But you wouldn't see it until they really learned to open up. And teenagers are some of the toughest to open up - teenage boys more than girls.

Good luck in all you do.