Bklyn Queen

[sayitaintso]

Nothing I can do about it anyway.

Nope, nothing you can do, nice detaching BK!!

[2thepoint]

All you can do BK is hang on and keep working on you. Your detachment seems to work in waves, just like mine. Great one day, bad the next.

I guess as they say, it eventually gets better.

Fingers crossed!!

[keep_going]

BM -

Try not to worry too much about your H's conversation with his sister. It can have a really negative effect or a really positive one. But either way, it's out of your control.

You are doing great and I am with you and 2tp... all this detachment seems to be coming in waves for me too - good and bad days. So I hope we can all learn to surf soon.

[NLW]

Hey you guys,
Me too! Over it one minute and a sad and despondent mess the next. And I thought my H was mood cycling.....

But it's so heartening to hear from all of you. Thanks so much for posting.

Reading your threads keeps me going. Can you even begin to imagine what it was like for LBSs before the internet?

[BFloat]

^^^^^ totally agree. It's like having someone to talk to 24 hrs!

[rickb89]

Brklyn - I'm surfing this shitty ocean of detachment too. Riding well one day, wipeout the next.

Peace and love to you FWIW...hope your H wakes up

[BklynMom]

H called this morning at 8a saying he was in the neighborhood and could he come over and walk D3 to school. Kind of odd since he lives in the neighborhood, but clearly he wasnt coming from home. Was he coming from over night with other woman?? I know I cant hypothesis but I just wish I knew. I hate being unsure and just guessing.

H also tells me he has been "living clean" which I guess means he is not drinking, but I know thats a lie cause he smells like booze sometimes.

It is just so sinking in that this is gonna take a while and I hate it

[NLW]

BM,

I get this with my H, too. All sorts of little signs that he's not coming from his rented room when he calls to say he's coming over at odd hours of the night or morning.

I used to try to 'do the math', as it were, as to how long it should have taken him to get from point A to point B, but then I realised that I was just doing my own head in.

I keep repeating that any OW is a symptom of his illness, nothing more.
It's almost impossibly hard, but... ya gotta do what ya gotta do in these cases.

And yeah, the timeframe is hard to take. In my case, around 16 months, I guess - if the DB estimates are on track (i.e. after 16 years of M). That means another 10 months, at least, before I could hope to see any impact from my DBing efforts.

We'll be candidates for sainthoods by then.

[2chiquitos]

Detaching is soooo hard! I slipped a few times this week. I tell myself I'm not going to do it again...n I do. I'm a work in progress.

[purgatory]

Backsliding just reminds us that we are human. Ups and downs just let you know that you still want your M... And that's not a bad thing.

You're still one of the strongest women that I've seen in these boards. The fact that *you* still backslide, let's me know rd ok when I do it too.

(((bklyn)))