WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3

[witz10]

Its been about a week since i posted last. I have been pretty good up till thursday and friday. I think it started when i saw a couple in the supermarket goofying around then walking arms around each other. That plus valentines day. Also realizing that 2/11 is one year since all this sort of started. My w and i were to have a nice night out kids were sleeping at in laws. We went to dinner very litt.e conversation. It was like pulling teeth. We had a gift card to pay for dinner and i had 3 dollars on me for a tip. Couldn't get to atm for money plua there was none to take out. We got home and started to argue about my work. Remember it like it was yesterday.
My w still wonders why i am not dating either to give her closure ny seeong me happy again or lift guilt off her shoulders. This way she knows its ok to move on. Problem is i am emotionally attached and still believe this can work out. As long as one of us still fights right. I don't know. I feel like my life is missing something and that is .......

She text me last night to stop at condo and grab kids snow stuff. I go over pull the stuff out from under the bed and right next to it is a litmans jewelers bag. Then as i walk out the room there is a long jewlery box on the bureau. This was the xmas gift. I know i have no control over this at all. Again wish i didn't see it. Then when i was leaving my neighbor caught me. He was telling me about my in laws coming up last week and how it felt weird to be in my place with them and me not there. Then they went to his place and om and friend came up and drank with neighbor, w, in laws. I wonder if in laws have figured anything out yet.