Well I haven't sent the response yet so I was hoping for some more food for thought. Thanks 2 & Labug!!
Labug- She just made out, sex w/ OM is most likely a deal breaker for me although I'm not sure she knows that. She knows that loyalty and monogomy/faithfulness has always been very important with me. The end of our convo was flirtatious but she knows that I'm upset/angry or something similar about the fact she decided to make out with another man.
I feel the need to let her know that her choices are affecting others because she thinks that she can do whatever and everything will be fine or work out when all of our lives including our kids is an f'ing ish-storm since she decided to leave.
I want her to know that I am aware she can do what she wants and don't want to control or influence her in any way but that their will be consequences. I know that is common sense but common sense doesn't seem that common with her. Frankly she has been behaving on and off like a teenager which is why sometimes I want to throw in the towel as I see that this is not a person I want to be with.
The message I want her to get is that I accept she is on her path and she can do what she wants and doesn't need to ask me for permission but some of things she has done or will do will affect herself, our R, and our kids lives in a negative way.
I know I wansn't a great husband and frankly had no clue what a husband should be like. Dad died when I was 5 and I grew up with 6 women and no male influence.
But I think I've finally figured it out due to this crisis which I am greatful for but dam* is this hard!!
Appreciate the comments, I used to mostly lurk but its helpful to get insight and know that people care.
