How 2 balance detaching & improving communication?

[labug]

It sounds pretty condescending to me:

I appreciate your honesty as well. Yes after having a horrific work week, having you tell me you hooked up with a random dude at a bar, are open to dating, and are possibly/probably adopting (our nephew) it has been quite a week.

Did she hook-up (sex) or was it just "making-out"? Neither is good, but you have no control over what she does. Wasn't the end of that conversation all flirty between the 2 of you? And now you're pi$$ed.

You have made it very clear in many areas that you are going to do what you like and don't need to ask permission from anyone to do so. That is fine but please be aware that all of our choices do come with consequences. For ourselves, each other, and our kids.

Do you think she doesn't know that choices have consequences? This sounds like a conversation to have with a teenager

I accept the fact that you are going to do what you like and you are free to do so. I will continue to try to make the best decisions and do what's in the best interest of our kids and myself.

It sounds that what you're trying to say here is you will continue to make the best decisions while she continually screws up.

I think all you needed to say was something like "as becoming guardian to N will impact our children we need to discuss.

This from the recovering queen of condescending, controlling written communication.