Remember, CV, I don't WANT him to garden with me. That was just one of a number of reasons why. So I don't WANT him to learn about it. If he did, it would make it easier because we could at least talk about it, but still not something I would prefer.
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Is there *anything* he could do at this point to start to bridge the gap, or are you just too far gone?
I think the example I gave about the way my friends and I interact vs. the way he interacts with me (it's just all about him.) So if he could adjust that, that would be a start. Seems pretty simple to me, impossible for him.
I did it for 6 years. I did it genuinely. I don't believe he's evil, I just believe he's selfish, in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder sort of way. I'm not sure he even has the capacity to think outside of himself. He certainly is not driven by any sense of reciprocity, as DB suggests.
We had a brief discussion last night about going out to dinner, and I presented the suggestion noted previously. When I told him that I would like to enjoy having dinner with him, but that I would leave if he continued to do x,y, and z, he acknowledged and said fine. Then he suggested that I remind him of x,y,and z and my leaving every time before we go to dinner. So I told him it wasn't intended for me to have to remind him EVERY time, but that I would be willing to do it for him every time before eating out, if he would agree to extending the same courtesy to me every time before we had sex.
He thought it was utterly ridiculous that I would expect him to remind me about his preferences regarding sex, but perfectly reasonable for me to have to remind him of my preferences regarding eating out (I don't like him to help himself to food off of my plate, for example.) I get why he thinks it's ridiculous - it is - but it's ridiculous both ways. He doesn't think so.
