Be strong Ro...as a survivor of this board, I can tell you that you will come out of this a much better person. You may or may not have a new R with your H, but you will be happy with yourself. This darkness is the hard part.
God loves you as well. That is why He allows bad things to happen to people. If you ever wonder if things could get worse, go read Job again!
Just keep posting to us. Describe to us (in detail) the worst tasting food you have ever had!