Like saying that your H goes out golfing, IN SPITE of you. That he wouldn't otherwise go golfing, if he knew it did NOT bother you.
Or like me saying that my W goes out and parties with her friends, specifically because she knows it bothers me that she isn't watching over the kids or that she isn't choosing to hang out with me.
In this case, no. I don't believe H is doing it because he thinks it bothers me. Instead, I feel like he's doing it with complete indifference to me.
If my BFF thinks it's been a while since we've gone out. She considers the options, weather, etc. and thinks of something we could do together, something we both would like. She invites me to go with her to a movie, and asks me if there's something I'd like to see. We both throw in, coordinate a time, meet up and all is good. This is the same way I treat my friends.
My H, OTOH, finds something that HE would like to do, completely without regard to my interests. He then asks me if I would like to do this activity with him. Since it's not my thing, I say no, so he simply finds someone else to do it with him. He doesn't have an interest in ME, he has an interest in an activity.
This makes me feel invisible, unimportant, worthless, unloved, boring, etc. (in OUR relationship only.) Perhaps it's what you're referring to with the word abandoned, but not what I would use.
