Forgot to add, I had good success with NOT bringing up R talks. I let him do this, and if it seemed we were in a calm space to talk I would listen. Listen a lot, and let them do the talking. But I really did avoid bringing up too much R talk, and used a lot of actions.
Giving a lot of space, GAL, being gone more often, not pressuring or pursuing. Acting as if, and sometimes that meant acting like I was happy. Even when he had a tantrum and told me that being here was "misery", I listened, I acknowledged his feelings, but I kept on doing my thing.
I also did small acts of service when he was going through his crisis. I know that this may not apply for many but I never stopped doing some things for him. And some things I did stop doing.
Right now my h and I are in piecing, and we are also reading 5 LL.
