Is there a possibility that you are abandoning your H, because you feel he abandoned you. And so he is now getting what he gave...
Absolutely, sort of, I still have trouble with the word, maybe because I'm so independent? I don't know.
Anyway, I recognize that he's getting what he gave, but is that a bad thing? I see it simply as meeting him where he is. If someone doesn't want to leave the house and you do, and you make plans "for one," how is that being spiteful? And when that pattern has been going on for a very long time, why is it being spiteful of one simply to say, "Thanks, but I'm no longer interested in you doing this with me."
I have a real-life example. When we first married, H boated/camped, I gardened/biked. H would invite me to go boating/camping with him and I would go. In spite of it being one heck of a lot of work and consuming most weekends, I would do it with a good attitude and had fun doing so. For my part, I would invite H to garden with me, but he would consistently decline, claiming it wasn't his thing and it was too "girly." After years of this, I developed a true joy in gardening alone (not that tough since I'm an introvert.) I would read and study and became quite knowledgeable, even a source of info for some gardener friends.
Now almost 17 years later, H decides he was neglectful in our M and wants to garden with me. I honestly DO NOT WANT HIM TO. It's my quiet time to think and enjoy nature without having to force conversation. Plus, with him being completely ignorant of anything having to do with gardening, it's more of a chore for me than a blessing (the equivalent of someone who has never played baseball playing on a semi-pro team.) And it's not like he takes any of his free time to enlighten himself to bring us to a closer compatibility.
Are you suggesting that I'm doing this to be spiteful?
