Much of what you say is true, NSweet. And yes I have the tendency to defend myself here, for sure. I'm being patient, and very much resisting getting angry with her (I've been very even keeled over this whole thing).
I should point out she does the escape thing to make all major life decisions, every job she has left to get out of the job, taking the very next thing she found only to discover the next job was as bad or worse than the last one. She left home to escape her mother, she left her first husband to escape him, and I think a big part of the affair was to create a "no turning back" scenario with me, which I didn't easily give her.
I take it one day at a time. Some days are better than others--the anxiety of seeing her isn't there as much anymore, and I'm living my life to be a better man.
Thanks--I have read and re-read what you've written several times. Hard truth is still the truth.
