The MC is definitely pro marriage and while the general curriculum of our counseling is not Christian-based, the MC is a Christian and brought in elements of Christianity into our session. I am glad my W still wanted to attend the session, even though she has expressed her desire to move out next month. The meeting with the MC lasted longer than normal - about 90 minutes. Obviously we told her we had hit a fork in the road and expressed my W's desires. W said that she had felt this way for some time and had just now told me exactly how she felt. She had not told me because she was worried about hurting me (which hurt in and of itself - I would hope that she would have considered what she'd be losing if she left). Anyhow, I expressed my desire to work on the marriage. W talked a lot about how we had not been able to communicate honestly and openly, about real feelings and emotions; that our marriage was one on the surface free of real confrontation or connection. I expressed my honest sorrow for my part in the communication breakdown. We both acknowledged that we were both to blame for where we were. The difference now - I want to make this work; I'm not sure if my W does.
The catch-22 of this situation is this: our MC recommended a weekend together at home where we could be around each other in an effort to jump start communication. The 180 approach would have me out of the house, doing my own thing. I am not going to follow her around, beg, plead, cry and act pathetic. I want to follow the advice of our MC while still demonstrating my ability to live my own life. In fact, I said something to the effect of "right now, I can't control this situation and I have to live my life."
Bottom line: I want to work on this. I believe my W thinks this is over and she is ready to move out. Not really sure how to go about business this weekend at home with my W but God willing, whatever we do somehow brings our hearts back together.
