You certainly have a complex sitch, in as far as figuring out your W's motives/direction. Some of your points make a whole lot of sense, like her maybe giving you an easy out so she doesn't have to carry the whole burden. I'm really glad that you can say that your very happy, in light of the rest of the sitch! Well done!
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If you're depriving yourself because of H, you will resent him whether you want to or not. Invite him to participate, and if he doesn't want to, then do it anyway.
Therein lies part of my problem. Right now, I don't want to invite H along. He would probably go, but with our current R makeup, he would ruin it for me.
Thanks for the hint on Meetup.com. I will check that out again. I did once before and there wasn't much in our area (no skiing in MO) for anything I would be interested in. It's been a while so I'll check it out again. Thanks!
BTW, I'm reading SSM, which is really ironic since I'm the LD partner and consider myself a WAS initially (now I don't know what I am.) Anyway, it's very enlightening in regards to a man's perspective on sex. Way more emotionally-based than I would have ever thought. Assuming men would agree -- in truth and not in just another way to get some. If it is accurate, I have a better understanding of your difficulty.
OTOH, I don't think women were the ones to come up with the phrase, "Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am!" so perhaps you can understand OUR confusion.
