Also - as to being Mr. Nice Guy - I think you really hit the nail on the head as to the origins of those impulses in your childhood.
I'll just say, one of the reasons "nice guys" aren't as attractive to (some) women, is because we're often hard-wired to like the alpha males. I guess because in primitive times, they could protect us. I'm a strong woman, but I really like a guy who projects the sense that he can and will take over the wheel, who'll call me on it if I'm being overbearing, a guy who won't let me run him over. It's not about chest-beating macho behavior - it's more the strong guy who stands his ground and deals with things, who I feel I can lean on in an emergency, that gets my heart going.
