Yet I was here constantly trying to engage him verbally, mentally, and sexually. NOTHING BUT REJECTION.
Remember the PA's role in a relationship is to just turn up. You must have all the emotion all the empathy.
With regards to the sexual rejection: 'The passive aggressive often can't trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.'
Withholding sex is about control. It's a passive/aggressive way of expressing anger. Someone who withholds sex will imply by their actions that they have a lot to give. They are, by all outward indications sincere in their love for their spouse. They hook you in with sincerity and then they cut you off. They feel in control if they have the upper hand sexually. You are put in the position of being the one who initiates sex. Your spouse doesn't have to do anything in the relationship except show up. All the work needed to develop and maintain a sexual bond is up to you.
However to those of us who form secure attachments: 'Sexual REJECTION, especially by someone who vowed to "love, honor and cleave unto" you is devastating. It leaves you feeling unattractive and undesirable. You may internalize her rejection and blame yourself by thinking you are not attractive enough; sexy enough, thin enough, smart enough. His/Her actions will give root to unhealthy beliefs about yourself and your value as a person. There is the danger of depression, loss of hope, and there is certainly a sense of shame. Shame over the fact that your own spouse does not desire you. This shame keeps you from sharing your problems with someone else. You find yourself with no support system and the growing belief that there is something terribly wrong with you.'
