My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[Broken74]

Seemingly another mini-breakthrough in my sitch today. Again, I know I am not adhering to all the rules here but I think in many circumstances you have to think on the fly and go with your gut, that is my experience thusfar anyway and I am in the best place I have been since we physically separated I think. Please bear in mind that all that has been happening to me is while an active 50B restraining order is in effect that expires this Monday, we have been communicating and seeing each other in the face of this restraining order (stupid for me to do I know but it is what it is).

So she contacted me today and we bantered back and forth for awhile, nothing about our R or M. I was happy yesterday that my oldest stepson called me for advice on a bit of trouble he was in. He could have called anyone else on "their" side of the family or any male friends, but he chose to call me. Obviously I shared the situation with my W and I know I provided the right advice, I certainly would think that got me some good vibes now that she knows the only child old enough to think to do it, reached out to me when he needed guidance.

She and I had been talking yesterday as well, because she reached out to may saying she just wanted to "say hey". This a first since we separated. I asked her today directly "so what prompted you to want to say he to me yesterday for no reason?" A stupid, non DB/DR type of question but I felt I needed to know the answer with no expectations. She said "I wanted to say hi because I'm lonely".

To me this is a positive sign, although I know it probably shouldn't be. Based on reading other people's I am not sure what I should do. I am thinking since she has validated a need of her's "I'm Lonely", that I should show effort as to try to meet that need, e.g. try and communicate more often and see if we can spend more time together. We really did have a great time on Sunday when we hung out and I'm sure that interaction played into this. This is throwing me into a loop for Valentines day though. Should I still go with the do nothing approach for her and pull a 180? Given where I am now I think such a drastic 180 may do a little more harm than good.... Or maybe she is just acting this way to butter me up for Valentines day. Geez I just don't know... I am so sick of all of this dangblasted mental warfare... UUUGH

Just journaling but if anybody has any feedback I would appreciate and good luck to one and all!