Where did my life go?

[irishblessings]

Truly took about 4 days to "get over" seeing X and OW at S's game last Friday. Luckily no games this weekend - next game - Senior Night on February 14th - yep, Valentine's Day. Emotional. Would love to contact X and say "please leave OW at home and let S just enjoy without her presence. She has zero ownership in any of the activities and has no relationship with son. Oldest D came over tonight to help me with son's collage poster for the game. She said "you gave us a really great childhood." That was nice to hear.

I've thought a lot over the last few days about what son's life would be like today if his dad hadn't walked out. It's heartbreaking. I pray that this experience will influence him in a positive way when he decides to become a father and a husband. But he has missed out on a lot of stability and support. I am trying not to beat myself up or be too hard on myself - but the honest truth is I couldn't do it all. I could not replace his father - actually his best friend. But I've done my best and it is going to get better.