When it's a one-way street...part 2

[BeingMe]

I think I'm at the same stage as you, CV. I also don't care, and my H isn't mean or disrespectful. He does take me for granted, and does manipulate/control. In some ways, my H is very much like yours. I have spent 7 years after he wanted back into the M, trying to change me, work with my issues, GAL, and he has done nothing, that I have noticed. He hasn't discussed our issues, not addressed the lack of trust I have, we don't ML at all, he's generous with money, but he controls it. I moved him to the spare room last year. I also am planning on leaving ... just waiting to get the house sold.

Hearing about your honeymoon, made me tear up. As far as I'm concerned we never had one, because all his school friends were around. It sucked, because I didn't know them very well since he had moved from his hometown. And, I too, am an introvert ... I can tick off most of the points on that list you posted. I have wondered often through our M, why he married me. Still don't really know, and it's been 25 years. He used to tell me he loves me, but never acted it. I can only give advice with my own experience to go on, so if I were you, either get D'ed now, or try one last time to fix the M. It wasn't any fun having a room-mate who controlled everything all these years. If I had gone through with the D at the time of his EA, I would've been long down the road of getting my own life back. Independence is what I want now. And, my children will still have to go through the emotions of having their parents get D'ed. I stayed for my daughter who was 12, and I don't regret it per se, but I don't think I did her a favor. I might've found a new man or been a happier mom, and that would've been a good example to her. Nothing I can do now, but you can think about it, and maybe do it differently. Just a thought.

Good luck.