I am already into moving fast towards making him see the financial consequences of this next phase that he's moved to. I have drafted a letter that formalises the list of financial details and reporting that will be required to untangle all the issues around his multiple businesses and spending of our shared money.
It's enough info about tax issues to make Al Capone break out in a cold sweat.
And I threw in a mention of my lawyer's suggestion that I hire a forensic accountant, too - to go through the details of his businesses with a fine-toothed comb. I don't want to sound vindictive - I have said that i don't think it's a good idea to get adversarial on this - but I'm just presenting what my lawyer says will be required to assess his lawyer's proposal about a percentage decision of our asset base.
On the issue of telling the schools, I don't think H means that he wants to speak to the counsellors about possible negative effects on the kids. He firmly believes there are none and that counsellors who think otherwise are wrong (His OW masquerades as a child psychologist, amongst other things, and has advised him that kids are 'resilient').
He just seems to want, badly, everyone to know that we are 'separated'. In part, I think he knows this would humiliate me and, so, feels compelled to make it part of 'settling our account'.
Interestingly, too, he's been keen on labelling me a 'single mother' lately.
I would love to call DB for counselling but my money (what's left of it) is going towards replacing the car and paying a lawyer at this stage.
Thanks so much for your great suggestions. You've really helped me through this. NLW
