Okay, so can you help me define those? I know you just gave examples for examples and not necessarily for them to meet my definition, but I don't even have a definition.
Putting the toilet seat down? I could care less. Veggie meals? Not appealing because of his lack of skill, and his not liking veggies makes a positive outcome unlikely. Playing with S? That's his loss and means I get to engage with S instead.
I KNOW I have a bad attitude. I KNOW it.
I think I'd love to hear from Accuray on this. He's got most of his M back on positive ground, yet there's still an issue with sex. I wonder, could he give just 2 or 3 things that would make his current sex life more tolerable? Knowing his W's heart isn't really changing, just her behavior? Is there actually something there that would help, besides the absolute bottom line of her finding him sexually attractive? But that wouldn't be a baby step.
I just feel like there are some core issues here that I don't know how to make a marriage work without. One of them is trust. Another is each of us being the top priority person in the other person's life (ie. if you had to jump in front of a bullet to save only one person, who would it be?) And I need to be able to be recognized as an independent human being, with thoughts and feelings and interests of my own, and that having a different thought/feeling/interest isn't my criticizing him. I don't have any of that.
Really, at this point, I can't get basic human courtesy and respect. Without that, I don't know how to CARE about anything else. It's like the guy who beats the cr@p out of his wife, and then brings her a bouquet of flowers. It's hard to appreciate the flowers when your eyes are swollen shut and your nose is broken.
