@BeingMe: Yes H drives...... And the Safeway is only a mile away! About OW, I have pondered calling her. I think she has my numbers blocked now. But she would still get a notification that I tried to call. Another friend of mine suggested telling her to just back off.
@Tested: I am trying different approaches. I did offer to make him a cake, I googled how to convert a yellow cake mix to a carrot cake. (I was being silly....... it was already 7 pm here in Hawaii.) Anyway, YES, he has been cake eating, but that behaviour has been stopped, for now.
@Angel: I do read many other peoples threads. I don't always comment on some current threads, because I don't have much to add. Many of the old threads I'm reading ARE very helpful. WCW's threads are speaking to a situation a lot like mine.
I like to keep everyone here entertained. So let me tell you all about my H, Farting, and how I know what he is thinking.
Several months ago I noticed that when my H farted he would sometimes say excuse me and sometimes not. I realized that when he plans to stay married to me he excuses himself. When he is planning on leaving me he doesn't. I seriously cannot make this stuff up.
So I have a darn near fool proof way to know how he is feeling about his life with me. Problem is now it makes me laugh. The old fart marriage commitment barometer...... If I question his thoughts, I just feed him beans and I don't even have to ask, just listen!
Okay, time to go do some work!
Thanks all for your posts!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Several months ago I noticed that when my H farted he would sometimes say excuse me and sometimes not. I realized that when he plans to stay married to me he excuses himself. When he is planning on leaving me he doesn't. I seriously cannot make this stuff up.
LOL!!! I love it.
My ex had a real thing about farts - as in, if you dared to fart in front of him, he took it as an insult, because you SHOULD have been able to control yourself.
First guy I dated after my ex, offered me ice cream one night and I declined - I'm a little lactose intolerant. He replied "I don't care if you fart all night - you're on vacation, have some ice cream!"
Wendy, My take on speaking to the OW about backing off. I would suggest that you not say anything to her at this time. The more your h pulls away, the harder she is going to try to such him back in. If you were to say something to her, that would a challenge to her to prove you wrong. The best advice is stay the course that you are currently on, carrot cake and all, and not say anything to her.
Wendy, sit quietly and the answers will come to you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh gosh, so funny ... feeding him beans ... and, Snodderly saying to "sit quietly, and the answers will come to you." ~Snort~ Priceless. I guess it depends on the loudness of the farts? My H has farted in front of me since before we were married. Sometimes, he says excuse me, and sometimes not. He finds it funny to do silent ones and leave it on an elevator ... so crude. Although, I can't help but laugh at him sometimes. I only started doing so in front of him ten years ago or so. Don't know why.
As for contacting OW ... just seems she's wasting a whole lot of time, when she could be concentrating on her Marine who is about to be deployed and doesn't need this distraction. But, I do know it's usually not a good idea ... watch her plane slowly crash and burn. (Naughty idea, however ... phone from your H's cell ... let her see the number and get all excited, then she hears your voice hehehe.)
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Beans, beans, the magical fruit...... Oh never mind!
Yes Snodderly, I am sitting quietly, waiting for the answers.
I have had a few moments of clarity. And a few of 'what the heck?'
Unfortunately much of my clarity shows me moving on alone. I am really starting to see my H as a damaged person. If he is only staying with me for the kids, grandkids and dogs then I deserve more than that.
I certainly want someone who can at least tell me thank you now and then for what I do. Not someone who tells me they are staying with me because they feel like I will take good care of them when they get old.
I am wading through WCW's old threads. Dang that woman has patience. Okay, I'm going to try again and get out of the house. First time I tried my phone and my iPod both had low batteries. I need to take a long walk and listen to some tunes!
PS We should all eat ice cream! And live like we are on vacation everyday!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Rick, 99% of all humans fart, the other 1% lie.....
Thats so funny, coz farting is also a big thing to my H! He does hate it when I do it near him, but he does it al;l the time in front of me. Sound unfair, right? But there is a reason to this.....well, he does the loud, ones, and mine are the silent ones, and you know which one is more deadly..... hehehe.... even our dog runs away when she hears me let go!
Wen, I also used to have a "thermometer" on how my H was feeling. For me it was if he would say goodbye when he left for work. When he was in the "I'm staying" mood, he would say "bye" when he left the house. When he would just leave or disappear, I knew he was in the EA fog. Maybe he was in a rush to call OW? Whatever it was, it did not bode well for how we were going to interact for the next few days. Over all, its just an indication of how they care for our feelings.....
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Priceless. I guess it depends on the loudness of the farts? My H has farted in front of me since before we were married. Sometimes, he says excuse me, and sometimes not. He finds it funny to do silent ones and leave it on an elevator ... so crude. Although, I can't help but laugh at him sometimes. I only started doing so in front of him ten years ago or so. Don't know why.