NLW, I think you're getting excellent advice from BklynMom and ncl.
Originally Posted By: NLW
Whenever I turned the conversation towards my own part in our troubles, he would disagree and said "You see this is the problem. We just can't communicate. You say something and I say the opposite. We are just separate people."
This kind of jumped out at me. This sounds like the good 'ol self convincing. IOW he's telling himself that constantly to keep himself on track.
I agree with the others, the DB coach would be well worth it.
Talk to several Ls until you find one you're comfortable with. Most of them offer a free initial consultation.
