1. I think you should call a DB coach and figure out a game plan.
2. I have a thought about a strategy for dealing with this, it would not be easy and I am not sure its right but here is my idea:
You H is clearly having a crisis. It seems like he not going to turn around until he hits rock rock bottom. Since he is going so fast his bottom may not be far away.
I think you should move faster then you H for him to really feel these consequences. He knows that its not what you want you have told him, now I think you should meet with a lawyer and set up a joint meeting at the school. I think you should be ready with a list of questions for the advisor or whom ever your dealing with about what signs you should look for in your kids to see if they are in distress about the divorce, are there any common bad behaviors we should that we should be aware of, a friend told you their is a link between eating disorders and divorce are they famialar with that link. These questions are all meant to scare your H.
You will have to be a good actress because you dont want him to think you are trying to make him feel guilty you are just want to know how to do what is right.
I would interview lawyers and be honest with the lawyers that your goal is for reconciliation. But you want to make the realities about his decision as real as possible quickly. I would send him a formal custody agreement immediately. Something fair but that eliminates all unplanned visits
Matter of factly - Refer to yourself as a single mom often without over doing it.
Regarding the car, I would say I would really like to discontinue the lease but I am still thinking about it, are there any other finacial considerations I should be aware of before I decide.
Anyway thats my crazy game plan I really think you should call DB and see what they think.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
