Kimmerz, To answer your question...yes. That is what PA behavior is all about. They do things in an underhanded way and create an atmosphere whereby you don't really think about the behavior until after the fact. For example, when my xh hadn't mowed the lawn in several weeks, I asked him to mow it. What did he do? He took the brand new riding mower out in the yard, not only mowed the lawn but deliberately mowed over several fruit trees that didn't have any grass around them as well as my pansy bed which was mulched heavily. This was a deliberate act because he had mowed around them previously many times over. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't know why he did it and bascially said "oh, well...now you don't have to worry about watering them any longer".
Another example, you and your xh are planning to go out for dinner. You ask him where would you like to go and he says "I don't know, you select a place". You select a place and later on he will tell you he didn't want to go there or didn't like it, etc.
They don't know how to say no or voice an opinion up front, but someway, somehow they will get back at you in another way.
What you have described about your xh is a prime example of PA.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
