Same here, my thoughts are changing. My W was coerced into a teenage abortion by her parents.
She will not discuss this with me, but she has told my son that she 'thinks of that little baby everyday; and 'that is why I think I don't deserve anything good in life'.
I know when I think of our sons and the life that could have been their half brother or sister I get incredibly almost unbelievably emotional. The coping mechanism for my wife to deal with this guilt and sadness is beyond my comprehension.
I feel a lot of our marriage problems and her behaviors stem from (possibly) that one issue. It would certainly all tie in with avoidance and PA behaviors her desperate need for a 'replacement child' It is true that maybe some point the behaviors become more prominent, and some of the behaviors are the same as in MLC.
It may be possible that my W will try to suppress the guilt for the rest of her life as she apparently does not want to seek help. It is a shame because perhaps some therapy would help clear this for her.
A whole lifetime of guilt and coping mechanisms? Or a whole lifetime of MLC? She has so much going for her and I still would like to have a great relationship just like anyone here but maybe that is just impossible if the pain is to great to ever deal with.
