So I am very happy to have found this website, because for awhile I was thinking that I was crazy, or stuck in some sort of horrible nightmare that I will surely wake up from.....but from all I have been reading I am VERY certain my husband is dealing with a midlife crisis, and some depression as well. I just really need support right now since my entire world has been turned upside down.
Let me back up at bit, October 11 was the day my world totally changed. My husband and I were sitting on our bed watching tv when I looked over at him and he just looked deflated, like something was wrong, I asked if he was ok. He said he didn't know if he wanted this and motioned around the room with his arms. I asked what, the house? me? He said any of it. I burst into tears. My best friend, the man I was trying to conceive a child with just the week before spending lots of money on fertility testing, bought a house less than 2 years ago, not to mention 9 years of marriage, 11 years of being together, now doesn't know if he wants to be with me?!?!?! To me this was TOTALLY unexpected! I of course did all of the "wrong" things, try to talk him out of it, what do you mean, try to prove he was wrong, etc, and all that did was push him further away. I asked if there was another woman, he says no he could never do that to me, but he now wants to see other people. He only says good things about me, tells me I'm a good person, he thinks I'm going to save the world some day, says I am more patient than anyone he knows, and he's still very physically attracted to me, but APPARENTLY doesn't feel an emotional connection to me any more. What crap! That's what I think. No emotional connection?!?!? I mean really, seriously, my best friend doesn't feel connected with me. So after several weeks to think about this, and several counseling sessions (me only, heaven forbid he get help), I know this is something he is dealing with and doesn't have anything to do with me, but that doesn't make it any easier. He is still living in our home, but has moved into the other room, barely speaks to me,no longer wears his wedding ring, and spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with his mommy (who is not my biggest fan). I just need to know what's a girl supposed to do??
I know this was most probably brought on by his job, and all the stress he has there, he hates it. Recently he applied for another job, was sure he would get it, told me he didn't know what he would do if he didn't and then like 2 weeks later Bomb Drop. He's my husband and I love him, but how long do I wait for him to get his head out of his butt? And if he does it doesn't mean he will realize he's throwing something good away. It will be four months on the 11. I'm just a mess still some of the time.... getting better with some counseling and good friends, but I thought it would be good to talk to people who have been through similar experiences. Thanks in advance!
