Separation, Settlement, or Servellience?

[Yasu]

Another day, another success at fighting the temptation to call him. It really is pathetic what I planned to say. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I just write it down here for all to see:

H, please don't think I am only concerned about financial matters. Of course, we miss you very much, and always hope to hear from you. Please call us. (I'm including the dog so lessen my vulnerability).

Puke. Does that just make you want to gag? Thank goodness I haven't done it. I noticed there is a full moon - and, perhaps that is sending me over the edge.

I complete 1/2 a goal today. One vet visit has been accomplished, albeit, a bit late. Other dog goes in Friday for neuter, comes home Saturday. This is a fairly big deal for me as I am very much a recluse. I came near canceling today - but didn't, hooray for me.

I am still being moderated. I have written on some other walls, as well. I really think I am going to enjoy this site. I wish I knew how to write those stats at the bottom, although it mortifies me to see how old I am (as I certainly don't look it). Can you imagine, a 32 year relationship over, 27 years of marriage, finished, a woman of 55 - having to start over, with this bi-polar crap?

Yes, give me a 2x4 for the anger I expressed about it. That's fine. I have come a long way from the "denial" stage. That's right, I refused to believe this diagnosis for some time. Eventually, through observational experience of the aftermath this issue can bring about, I started to come to terms with it. I sense now, I am moving towards being extremely depressed and fearful for my future alone with this issue. Probably some people would think this is no big deal. Feel free to 2x4 me. I'm just journaling here.

I hope someone can tell me something to do.

Idea A) I suppose, if I were advising, I would say use Michelle's "Do Nothing" strategy, at this point. Perhaps, after the doggy gets his operation, I should just get in the car, and hang out at the rental a while longer before it gets rented. What cha think?

Idea B) Another idea, would be to drop a cute photo in the mail of me and the dogs (one dog is new). What cha think of that idea?

I would tell anyone else, during a time when you are feeling desperate, or like "stirring the pot," that is the time to lay low.