Thanks, I really do see these little things as positive, but sometimes they seem so far and few in between that it's hard to keep a good outlook on things. I just need to take a deep breath and keep telling myself: "baby steps".
I've been thinking some 180's:
1) Don't question H about his whereabouts.
Even if he's coming home late, I don't ask why. I'm also trying not to get upset about it. It's very easy for me to get upset over something silly, even if I get over it 5 seconds later, but I know that "flipping out" left some negative marks with H. I think I've been doing pretty good at this 180. I just "let him be", even if it seems to upset me, but I don't let him know.
2) Smile more.
Not that I don't smile. I like to smile, but I can't walk around with a smile all day long. I need to make my "neutral" face appear more positive. H used to say and think that I was mad about something all the time. I'd reassure him that I wasn't, maybe I'd be deep in thought or something. But now that my S4 thinks I look mad even though I'm not, there must be seriously something wrong with my face. I need to smile more, especially when H comes home. Even if he doesn't look at me, I think he will sense a happier greeting if I smiled.
3) "Act as if" I'm happy.
This one is easier said than done. How can somebody "act" happy? Well, if I sense unhappy thoughts creeping up, I need to redirect my thoughts to things that do make me happy - my S4 is the best example.
4) Detach (aka grow a thicker skin)
While I think that I've made some good progress in detaching, I feel like reacting from time to time. I still let things bother me. I need to get better at brushing them off, but I understand that some feelings do need to be validated first, and then I need to get over them.
Quote of the day: "If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today" (taken from someone's thread a couple of months ago)
