Separation, Moved back in, still ILYBNILWY

[tenbusrider]

Okay, break out the 2x4s.

I did NOT go to AA last night. In fact, I drank.

I know giving an excuse is weak, but I found out my dad has encephalopathy. Basically, brain damage that may or may not be permanent. I knew I would want a drink, and was afraid of telling W I'd been to AA then came home with some beer. It seemed better to avoid the hypocrisy. Yeah, I know that's supremely stupid. I effed up big time. I'm looking at the list of meetings again for today.

W was pretty upset last night. It seemed to start when I came in and she noticed I had beer with me. It abated for a bit while I told her about my dad's condition. She told me she'd been on the phone with MIL for almost 4 hours today. I asked if everything was okay with her (MIL), she said it was and that it wasn't a bad conversation. In my mind, I'm thinking "then what did you discuss for 4 hours?"

She then told me a bit later that she planned to contact the Pastor I'd been talking to and wanted to set up MC, "so we can say that we've done it." She's expressed this sentiment before. I'm not sure how to take it. On one hand, I'm happy that she's at least willing to go, on the other, I think she's looking for validation in her decision to get a D. Might be positive either way, but I'm scared, quite frankly.

She'd found the card I'd had with the Pastor's information on it. I'd decided not to give it to her after being slapped with the realization that it was an effort to control her. Apparently, S found it and was wandering around with it, which was when she found it. It's now stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet.

I spent a lot of time explicitly validating her statements last night. She made dinner and I complemented it, and she kind of shrugged it off. I told her not to downplay it, that she's a great cook and should be proud of that. I was met with more silence, but her demeanor seemed to shift a bit. Maybe I imagined it.

I re-read Crimson's sitch, particularly the part about their first MC session. I'm hoping mine goes a similar way. I remember reading another thread about someone's experience with MC (can't remember who, I'm afraid) who said that when they had their separate sessions, the MC came back to the LBS and said that WAS wanted a divorce... I'm worried about that happening in my case, and I can't find that thread again to see what else had happened.

So, I know I need to get my @$$ to AA. Is there anything else I should be doing at this point while I wait for her to get everything set up? Any advice on how to handle MC when I get there? I've read other threads with suggestions, but it all seems to melt out of my brain...