Tonight was the worst. I ran out to the store and when I came back H was playing slow jams thru his ipod. At first I was grooving too. This is something we used to do a lot - listen to old school R&B and just be with each other. Then a thought hit me. He probably is sitting across the room thinking about OW instead of me. (In my snooping to find out if there was an A, I found text messages referring to this.) And then I had to get out of there.
I had a good cry in the bathroom, then just laid across the bed trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Then guess who comes in the room asking if I'm ok. I say I'm fine. He asks why I'm crying. I say I'm not - which may have come out a little harsh. What I wanted to yell was you expect me to sit in here while you're thinking about your mistress? But I didn't. That would have just caused an argument.
I think I need a break from all this. I may take tomorrow off and do something just for me. I need a little pick me up.
