Informally separated from WAW, but DBing my best

[AlwaysTrying]

I've gone a long time saying "I'm doing everything I can" to fix my marriage. Earlier on, I think it was true, but I certainly sank into a slump.

I think I get better at communicating all the time - better at listening and validating and letting W know I'm thinking differently about us.

I still think I'd make her a great husband if she'll have me. But I'm still struggling with depression and it's side effects. After all this time of trying to sort myself out, though I am a lot better in plenty of ways, I still have days where I refuse to look at my todo list and just coast through the day in a cloud.

So I figured out what my next two 180s are. The first is to start taking care of myself like it's my job. Specifically, I have to get to sleep every day at a reasonable time. I'm going to push that hard.

The other one is to start showing up to things 10 minutes early instead of 5 minutes late.


Things are still hot and cold with the wife. Detachment makes that so much easier to handle. She has been choosing to stay for dinner on the nights I come to be with the kids rather than rushing out of the house. I don't say anything one way or the other, but it used to be one of my complaints about this whole thing - just because the parents are taking some time to work things out doesn't mean the kids always have to live in a single-parent home where no one gets enough attention and everything is always a mess because it is too hard to keep up.

My wife got a little scary in the days running up to when we signed our informal separation agreement, but she's been very pleasant since then.

We got into an argument about money today, but I think it was a productive one. I wasn't defensive and tried to own up for my mistakes.