sandi2 I do hear you and I know the trust problem is mine. The arguments I've 180'd on and that was a realisation I came to before finding out about the EA/PA. The counseling is starting to address some of the behaviour patterns in both of us that had led to that.
The part I struggle with the most is that they are in the same working environment. They are in different departments but knowing that OG can wait it out and build the friendship again slowly, sitting in the bushes ready to pounce on our first argument is doing my head in. She's said it's finished but I feel naive thinking that they won't start talking again, build a little friendship, and how hard is to be back at square one. At least if it wasn't someone at work I'd know there would have to be active pursuit, but in the work environment it can be slow, continual and relatively passive. Knowing that he can walk past, give her a smile, a little wave, says to me that instead of her being able to get on and look at us with an independant perspective she will always have that reminder right in her face. That's driving me insane, yes my issue, but it doesn't mean I'm capable of dealing with it properly.
